How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
