I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
