happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Come on in and take your pants off
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
