Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
