I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
