nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
