I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
They have beer where we have blood.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
