I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
