Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I am available for nakedness
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
