I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
