did you get engaged???
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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