i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I need water and some morals
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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