Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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