put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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