reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Randomize
