Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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