I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
