Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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