I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
