i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
