I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
whose parrot is this?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
