That's intense
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
