Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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