I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
