I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
