there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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