4 words: hood of his car
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
