Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
