when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
