Kiss
Puke
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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