So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
