I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We have so much sex to catch up on
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
we're so committed to being not committed
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
