Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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