just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
