Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
