At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
