Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
