Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
