that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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