i would punch a child for taco bell
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Randomize
