I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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