She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
