just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
