Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
