two words: eviction party
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
