Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
