Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
