i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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