i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
