I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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