we have pet lesbian snakes
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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