Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
