Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
