I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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